journeysofjenniferjanet

I’m thinking I should probably not be thinking…..my thoughts haven’t been the most uplifting and I’ve come to identify my recent failures that are holding me back from my utmost potential.

~ I couldn’t deliver my baby the most natural way possible….c-section
~ I can’t get Samuel on a schedule….not the best for either of us
~ I’m not interacting or talking enough to him each day…what if he doesn’t develop at the right time for the right reason
~ I had to try the pacifier today….I’m not able to soothe him myself
~ I can’t do things like I used to….it takes me longer to get ready and I can’t time it right
~ I think he gets upset or bored with me….he will cry and cry
~ I don’t want to go back to work….how will I ever be able to be a mother and business owner
~ I feel distant from God….I don’t find myself praying, reading His Word or getting into devotions
~ I feel worn down and so tired….how will I ever balance it all
~ I can’t get into an exercise routine….I need some energy

Hopefully, by putting them all out there they will vanish from my thoughts…..we shall see!

After this weekend, my child is surely going to think I”m a NERD and I can’t help it!  The highlight of my time off included baby preparation!  Yay! I’ve finally had the chance and the reality has smacked me upside the head that I needed to accomplish tasks such as these, but I’ve been in a bit of denial that the baby’s arrival is coming sooner than I feel ready for. So, I’ve placed various items and carefully selected how I will lay the baby’s clothes in each drawer and exactly how I’m going to fold them AS IF they will ever stay this way–I’m sure my child will have its own thoughts of how to do things soon enough.  From there, I spent time practicing how to use the stroller, how to fold it up, how to put on the brakes….because one can never be sure!  I moved on to the car seat next, in which at this point, I was struggling with the fact that while the baby is an infant, it is BACKWARDS.  All my logic and reasoning went out the door and Nic insisted that it goes like this.  Finally, I could wrap my brain around it and he was right (again–this is happening entirely too much lately).  I felt comfortable enough to let that go when he challenged me to a “race” to see who could figure theirs out the fastest.  I declined.  I have a belly and that is impending my superwoman abilities lately.  We’ll wait until he has to do it by himself with the baby and then we’ll see who was paying attention!!  Haha!  The last part of my training was for the Moby wrap I purchaseda couple of months ago.  I read the pamphlet and watched the DVD all the while practicing with a teddy bear.  This session consisted of “Oh wait, pause it.”  “Okay, I think I’ve got it!” 

I suppose in short after doing these things, I had to wonder if anyone else tries to be educated and prepared as I do.  I venture to guess that I”m close to one in a million!  Maybe my baby will see this as a blessing or a curse, only time will tell!

As I am awaiting the doctor to come in at my 4 week check up, it is becoming more real by the minute!! I am almost 21 weeks along and the baby is moving quite a bit. My bump has officially made it’s appearance and I couldn’t be happier.

Time is certainly flying by and I am sure that it’s not going to slow down in the least bit from here on out. Nic and I are so excited about the new world that is to come.

But really, me a mom??? I think I can, I think I can. Of course I can and it will all work out just fine.

Love to all!

JJ

Well last night was confirmation that what I’ve been feeling off and on for the last few weeks has in fact been the baby moving!  It was very evident last night when I laid down for bed!  I’m so excited and thank God for this little blessing every day.  Each day I become more anxious to meet the baby, yet a little nervous.  What am I supposed to do with a baby?  How will I know when it may be sick? What if I do something wrong? So many new emotions and feelings are sweeping through me daily.  It’s hard to believe that in 21 weeks, we will be welcoming one of God’s newest creations into the world!

Two more days until the whole world will know that we are one-third of the way to having our own little family.  I am getting so excited to start buying baby items and of course begin planning the nursery.  Having limited energy is not normal for me and that is brought me down a bit…..I’m finally feeling much better and getting restless.  Cora has reminded me that I need to have my first “photo” shoot where she captures a picture every so often to document my belly progress…..not much to show right now and its a little scary to see how quickly that will begin to change.  11 weeks today!!! WOW…..its starting to feel more real!  Not sure why I have such mixed emotions about sharing the news with others.  At times, it seems overwhelming and I get nervous to tell someone.  Again, not sure what is up with that, but I guess I can blame it on the hormones! 

Love to all…..Jenn

We (me & The Hubby) have decided to lay low this month with our fertility appointments.  I think we need time to soak it all in and take a little break.  Definitely a tough decision………………

In one of my devotions today, this verse in particular stuck out. The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.  The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made.  -Psalm 145:8,9

Of course, it is always refreshing to have reminders such as these surrounding me!  It helps me feel that our path is right on the money for now!

Love to all,
JJ